Play away problems

Lucy’s case
Play therapy is not a magical cure but, in our experience, it can turn things round. When we fostered Lucy she was seven years old. She had lived through a childhood devoid of love and care, and the abuse and neglect she suffered had never allowed her to experience a proper transition from babyhood to childhood. As a result, Lucy had temper tantrums and anxieties normally associated with a much younger child.

Through play therapy, Lucy was allowed to be a baby and go through the transitional stages necessary for her emotional well-being and development. During play she drank from a baby’s bottle, she sucked a dummy and enjoyed sand and water play. This lasted for about a month. Then, of her own accord, she ignored the baby’s bottle and the dummy and moved on to activities more appropriate for her age. It was evident from Lucy’s subsequent behaviour that play therapy had enabled her to develop. The temper tantrums and anxious behaviour diminished considerably as a result.

The life-story approach
Another approach to behavioural problems focuses on a child’s life story. For a child in care, who has had many moves and many placements from an early age, tracing their life story can help them a great deal. Half the time, children in care cannot remember where they’ve been, who they’ve lived with, where they went to school or even what their natural parents were like. With each new placement comes a new set of values, a new set of ‘rights and wrongs’. It’s no wonder the child is confused.

Gathering up photos, memorabilia, documents, certificates, school reports and favourite things and putting them into chronological order helps to give a sequence to the past and demystify it. Idealistic fantasies about natural parents become more realistic, helping children to understand their lives and fostering a sense of identity and direction. The process also helps them come to terms with rejection from their birth parents and understand why they are in care.

It is an important part of being a carer to help piece together the jigsaw of a child’s past life, while remembering to forge memories of the present: memories for the child to take with them through life, to remind them of the positive experience of being part of your family.