iVillage logo
Parenting 
Advertisement
Topics
iVillage shopping

Hot stuff
Newsletters
sign up for FREE!




 
Promotions

Family diversities

by Coram Family
When you were a couple it was plain sailing (well, most of the time) but now you’re a family, life’s really complicated. Coram Family looks at striking a balance.

When you first move in with a partner, you’re just a couple enjoying life together and adjusting to each other’s views and attitudes. True, you have to contend with their annoying habits, which set your teeth on edge. Toothpaste oozing over the washbasin, smelly washing up piled high in the sink and dirty clothes languishing on the bedroom floor; all these things can cause a rumpus in your relationship but these differences can pale into insignificance once you start a family.

As a twosome you could work things out face-to-face but when children are built into the equation it becomes much more complicated. Unexpected divisions and tricky daily decisions emerge when you have the responsibility of being a parent. Everybody brings memories of their own childhood to bear when they raise their own children and these deep-set attitudes often don’t come to light before you become a family. You can share an apparently similar background and yet have very different views about how to bring up baby. Something that seems minor, even silly, to you, can be very important to your partner and the other way around.

Perhaps . . .

  • You have different views about discipline and how this works in practice in your family. When does a lively reply from your son become ‘cheeky’ answering back?
  • You disagree about how to treat boys and girls. Parents may have different limits about a daughter who is a keen climber (is she a young athlete or a tomboy?) and a son who feels hurt easily (is he sensitive or is he a softy?)
  • You disagree about how best to keep children safe. What about playing outside or going to the local shop? When to lengthen the invisible string is a tough decision made even harder when parents have different views.
  • Food, mealtimes and the issue of table manners revive forgotten remarks from your childhood. Remember those elbows on the table? Perhaps you were raised in a family with chatty, social mealtimes but your partner says it is much better for children to be quiet until they’ve finished their meal.
iVillage TV - Pregnancy experts

View video in larger player


 1 |  2 3 next print printer friendly send to a friend
  
Delicious     Digg     reddit     Facebook     StumbleUpon