Family diversities

Differences of opinion may also develop with members of your extended family who have their own expectations about grandchildren, their behaviour and their education. Some issues have deep cultural or religious significance and parents who bring different traditions into their new family have to weigh up the kinds of compromise that each parent can accept.

There are no easy solutions and you need to talk it through as a couple and discuss things with the rest of your family.

Tips on communicating with each other

• Talk and listen to your partner’s concerns, priorities and confusions. Both of you need to say what you feel and believe to be most important.
• Bear in mind that your partner, or a relative, may have a good point or suggestion, even if the way they said it was not very helpful.
• Look for compromises that you can each live with, understanding that as your children grow, you will return to some discussions and may need to modify your attitude. Try to be even-handed; one parent will become irritated if she, or he, always gives way.
• Listen to the rest of the family, but come to your own decisions about what will happen with your children. Love and respect for your own parents can co-exist with making a different decision for this new generation.