Parenting 

Advertisement

Take ten women

continued from page 5
The stay-at-home mum

Penelope Ryan, 29, lives in Nottingham with her husband Alex, 32, and her sixteen-month-old twin daughters, Kate and Eve

"I couldn't be happier being at home with my girls. I didn't see the point in rushing back to a job I didn't particularly love and missing out on my girls growing up. It's such a short time before they're off to school. I don't want to miss a moment. They're already sixteen months old and I was there when they took their first step and said their first word. I didn't want a childminder describing those important events to me. I wanted to see them for myself.

Before the girls were born, I worked as a secretary in an accountancy firm, which I'd done since I left school. I enjoyed my job and loved the social aspect of work but, when Alex and I finally conceived after two years of trying, we both knew that I'd stay at home with the girls once they were born. Financially, it didn't make sense for me to go back to work because we simply couldn't afford nursery or childminder's fees and anyway, I was determined to look after my children myself. Not that I think there's anything wrong with mums working. Each to their own, and my choice was to be at home with my children. I think you've got to do what makes you happiest and works best for your family.

When you meet new people, one of the first things they ask is, 'What do you do?' When I say I'm a full-time Mum, quite often you can see their eyes glaze over as if you're not really worth talking to, because all you do is change nappies. Being a Mum doesn't get you much respect, but I'm not bothered because I believe I'm doing the best thing I can for my children.

Financially, it's been quite tough. Having two children at once is incredibly expensive and I do miss having my own disposable income. I miss little things like just being able to buy a pair of shoes whenever I fancy. We're living solely on Alex's income, which means he's under quite a bit of financial pressure, but he, too, says he wouldn't have it any other way. He believes that his girls need their mum, and if that means tightening our belts for a while then that's just how it is.

Once the girls start school, I'd like to work again part-time but until then, I'm busy enough running around after two toddlers. They have a very packed social life. We go to a couple of mum-and-toddler playgroups and Alex and I try and take them swimming on Saturday mornings. One afternoon a week my Mum takes the girls so I can have a bit of time to myself. It's nice just to put my feet up with the latest copy of Heat magazine, paint my nails or even have time to mop the kitchen floor in peace. The girls are both still terrible sleepers. They wake at different times, at least twice a night, so I'm still walking around like a bit of a zombie. I think if I went back to an office at the moment I'd be falling asleep at my desk by lunchtime."

Delicious     Digg     reddit     Facebook     StumbleUpon

  Get the latest iVillage news on your desktop    Sign up for more iVillage RSS feeds

© iVillage Limited 2000-2008. All rights reserved. | © iVillage inc. 1995-2008. All rights reserved.
iVillage Ltd is a UK company registered in England & Wales (3837269) at 80-110 New Oxford Street, London WC1 1HB