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Childless, not by choice
Iona Powell, 22, and her partner Naz Uka, 24, from Cardiff, recently received the devastating news that they may never be able to conceive their own children naturally
"I always imagined that, by the time I was 21, I'd be settled down and, hopefully, have two children. That way I could enjoy them while I was young without jeopardising my career in customer services too much. It's important to me to carry on working as well as being a mum.
Two years ago, Naz and I started trying to have a baby, but, after six months, nothing had happened. I went to see my GP who was immediately concerned, because, as we're both quite young, we should be at our most fertile. He referred me to a specialist who decided to perform a laparoscopy, which meant inserting a small camera inside to see if there were any blockages or other visible problems.
When I came round from the anaesthetic, Mr Vine, my consultant, was standing by my bed. I knew straight away that it was bad news. He told me that one of my ovaries had virtually died and that both my fallopian tubes were blocked by scarring. I'd need a further operation to remove the dead ovary and fallopian tube and at the same time, they could try and unblock my other tube to see if it would help us to conceive.
However, there was a further blow. Results from the blood tests taken prior to the laparoscopy showed that I'd gone into an early menopause. I had absolutely no idea that I had any problems - other than the fact that my periods had been a bit irregular. The irony was that when my periods all but stopped just before the operation I thought I was pregnant. This meant that I'd need drugs to try and reverse the onset of the menopause and that I'd have to wait about six months to have the operation to try and unblock my fallopian tube. We could have had it done sooner privately, but it would cost £8,000, which we couldn't afford. I just broke down and begged him to tell me if there was any hope at all. Mr Vine told us there was little hope of conceiving naturally. He's been a wonderful support and didn't skirt around the truth. He also promised me that he'd do everything he could to help us conceive.
For the next six months, Naz and I tried to get on with life as normal, but it's impossible. I've tried not to, but I've become obsessed with babies, conception and fertility issues. I read every book and article on the subject because I worry that if I don't, I might miss the one bit of advice that will help us conceive. I can't bear to be around children. It's too painful. Sometimes we try and have a normal day or evening out where we promise ourselves we won't talk about it, but it's hard, as it's become the most important issue in our lives. I'm lucky Naz is with me, though. After I'd found out about my fertility problems, I told him to leave me and find someone else who he could have children with, but he wouldn't hear of it. He said it was me he loved and that even if we couldn't have children, we could still have a full life together. I understand what he's saying, but I'm not ready to accept that yet. I will try everything I can to conceive, even if it means volunteering for medical experimentation.
I had my second operation a month ago and unfortunately it wasn't successful. Mr Vine told me that the scarring on my other fallopian tube was too dense to clear so it's highly unlikely that we'll be able to conceive without IVF, and that itself depends on being able to reverse the onset of my menopause. At the moment, I'm at home recuperating from the operation but, as soon as I'm well enough, if we're able to, we'll start trying assisted conception.
The physical pain of all the treatment I've been through is bad, but it's nothing compared to the mental pain. Discovering that you can't conceive is emotionally devastating, it hits at your femininity and you can't help but blame yourself. The only thing that keeps me going is Naz's support and the options we've yet to explore."
Childless, not by choice
Iona Powell, 22, and her partner Naz Uka, 24, from Cardiff, recently received the devastating news that they may never be able to conceive their own children naturally
"I always imagined that, by the time I was 21, I'd be settled down and, hopefully, have two children. That way I could enjoy them while I was young without jeopardising my career in customer services too much. It's important to me to carry on working as well as being a mum.
Two years ago, Naz and I started trying to have a baby, but, after six months, nothing had happened. I went to see my GP who was immediately concerned, because, as we're both quite young, we should be at our most fertile. He referred me to a specialist who decided to perform a laparoscopy, which meant inserting a small camera inside to see if there were any blockages or other visible problems.
When I came round from the anaesthetic, Mr Vine, my consultant, was standing by my bed. I knew straight away that it was bad news. He told me that one of my ovaries had virtually died and that both my fallopian tubes were blocked by scarring. I'd need a further operation to remove the dead ovary and fallopian tube and at the same time, they could try and unblock my other tube to see if it would help us to conceive.
However, there was a further blow. Results from the blood tests taken prior to the laparoscopy showed that I'd gone into an early menopause. I had absolutely no idea that I had any problems - other than the fact that my periods had been a bit irregular. The irony was that when my periods all but stopped just before the operation I thought I was pregnant. This meant that I'd need drugs to try and reverse the onset of the menopause and that I'd have to wait about six months to have the operation to try and unblock my fallopian tube. We could have had it done sooner privately, but it would cost £8,000, which we couldn't afford. I just broke down and begged him to tell me if there was any hope at all. Mr Vine told us there was little hope of conceiving naturally. He's been a wonderful support and didn't skirt around the truth. He also promised me that he'd do everything he could to help us conceive.
For the next six months, Naz and I tried to get on with life as normal, but it's impossible. I've tried not to, but I've become obsessed with babies, conception and fertility issues. I read every book and article on the subject because I worry that if I don't, I might miss the one bit of advice that will help us conceive. I can't bear to be around children. It's too painful. Sometimes we try and have a normal day or evening out where we promise ourselves we won't talk about it, but it's hard, as it's become the most important issue in our lives. I'm lucky Naz is with me, though. After I'd found out about my fertility problems, I told him to leave me and find someone else who he could have children with, but he wouldn't hear of it. He said it was me he loved and that even if we couldn't have children, we could still have a full life together. I understand what he's saying, but I'm not ready to accept that yet. I will try everything I can to conceive, even if it means volunteering for medical experimentation.
I had my second operation a month ago and unfortunately it wasn't successful. Mr Vine told me that the scarring on my other fallopian tube was too dense to clear so it's highly unlikely that we'll be able to conceive without IVF, and that itself depends on being able to reverse the onset of my menopause. At the moment, I'm at home recuperating from the operation but, as soon as I'm well enough, if we're able to, we'll start trying assisted conception.
The physical pain of all the treatment I've been through is bad, but it's nothing compared to the mental pain. Discovering that you can't conceive is emotionally devastating, it hits at your femininity and you can't help but blame yourself. The only thing that keeps me going is Naz's support and the options we've yet to explore."
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