The child's view of divorce

• 'No-one could make all of this go away.'
• 'Why doesn't my mummy want to be here with all of us?'
• 'I don't understand why I go to my daddy's at weekends.'
• 'I can't remember ever seeing my parents together.'
• 'I remember always feeling as though it was all my fault, and I would cry myself to sleep a lot.'
• 'I think they still hate each other.'
• 'My parents have always been fair with me. Even though they were divorced, they were both always there for me. I love them for that.'
• 'I have grown up to be a very secure person. Both of my parents have always been there for me, and they both make time to talk to me together if that is what I need.'

Dawning realisation
Children are honest in what they see and experience, and they are able to describe how they perceive what is going on around them. Initially children do wish that their parents were still together, but as the years pass they come to the realisation that their parents got the divorce.

Remember, it is healthier for the child to grow up in a single parent family with little or no tension than it is for a child to be a part of a family unit that is in constant tension. Children do eventually realise why their parents split up. At a young age children want their parents to be together, but as children grow up, honesty and openness on the part of both parents can create a healthy environment for the child to grow up in.