Parenting 

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Bonus grandparents

When we remarry, we often forget that it's not just us marrying, but our extended family comes along for the ride. Your new in-laws may not have been as emotionally prepared for your new union as you were, and therefore have some problems adjusting. To make the transition easier for everyone, I would always suggest a frank discussion before the wedding. With the help of your fiance, you should talk about your expectations and simply ask the new in-laws for their support. Ask them for their opinions, and together set up a plan to slowly work them into the lives of your children. Of course, you are already married, so I wouldn't waste time. You, your husband and your in-laws need to have a discussion about their relationship with your children.

Sometimes it's difficult for older people to accept change, so don't be surprised if, at first, they baulk at the assumption that they are now grandparents. They have not built a bond with your children, so they may look at this new responsibility as purely financial and resent the implication. For this reason, during your initial conversation, I would reinforce the desire for emotional ties. Explain that you value their opinions and position in your life, and that you want that for your children. When they realise that your desires are honourable, that you respect them so much that you think that they are good role models for your children, they will come around.

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