iVillage logo
Parenting 
Advertisement
Topics
iVillage shopping

Hot stuff
Newsletters
sign up for FREE!




 
Promotions

Angry eight-year-old

by Robert Schwebel, Ph.D

question
My eight-year-old daughter was two when her father and I divorced. When she was four, I remarried and now have a four-year-old boy and a two-year-old boy. My daughter is very angry and rude. I cannot take her anywhere, because I do not know what is going to come out of her mouth.

Her biological father has also remarried, but his relationships have always been rocky. My daughter goes to see her father every other weekend and every other holiday. How can I help her?

answer

The challenge is to work out what is bothering your daughter. You could start by being a detective. For example, consider whether she is having school difficulties or social problems; whether something is bothering her about how her stepfather or you relate to her; whether she feels conflicted by divorce issues; or whether something is making her jealous about her two brothers. It is important to engage her in conversation. During a lull in the action, tell her you notice that she gets angry with you a lot. Ask what is bothering her and what you could do to make the relationship better. Of course, it is always important to 'catch' children behaving well and to give them lots of attention and reinforcement for this, so that they are not getting all their attention from misbehaviour. If you work at this, you will get to the source of the anger, and then you can come up with solutions. Family counselling can also be a resource.

Why not chat to other iVillagers about behaviour on the Mums of Children Aged 5 - 12 message board. Take a look at some of the LIVE discussions happening now on the board:

iVillage TV - Pregnancy experts

View video in larger player
Delicious     Digg     reddit     Facebook     StumbleUpon