Keep your family safe from germs and bacteria
Meet Mickey Mouse and friends live
A sprinkling of Latte Creations makes an everyday coffee break extra special
Is your child in danger?
Some surprising facts from the Colonel
Making stepfamilies work
I don't know how to deal with my wife's treatment of my biological children. She treats her own son, who is the youngest, like a little angel, and my children (five, six and seven) very differently. My wife and her family think that my children are trouble. I work long hours, so I'm not home a lot. How can I get her to be fair in dealing with my children?
It is natural for both of you to experience feelings of belonging to your own biological children. But you are rapidly taking on traditional roles and expectations that increase the pressure to be one big happy family. This increases the likelihood of an explosion.
There is no 'instant love' between stepchildren and stepparents and in situations where a stepparent, particularly a stepmother, is taking on primary responsibility for stepchildren you can expect trouble. In addition, your wife has gone from caring for one child who she has known for years to primary caring for your three children, with whom she did not experience a primary bond.
Perhaps both of you are falling prey to highly unrealistic expectations of one another, which leads to alienation and blaming. Over half of remarriages fail, in part because of highly idealised visions of becoming one big happy family. Television shows like the Brady Bunch only helped proliferate these destructive myths. The lack of education about stepfamily development is largely responsible for unresolved tensions in remarriages.
Delicious
Digg
reddit
Facebook
StumbleUpon
Horoscopes| Message Boards | Quizzes | Newsletters | Join
iVillage Ltd is a UK company registered in England & Wales (3837269) at 80-110 New Oxford Street, London WC1 1HB
