Divorce and discipline

What a nice arrangement to live around the corner from your ex-husband and the children. Because you were the one who moved out, your children may see you as the person who ended the marriage and 'broke up the family.' I don't know how it happened, but usually it is wise for parents to explain to their children that they tried their best to make the marriage work (assuming this is true), but then discovered that they could not be happy together. The decision was made by both parents.

Children must be reassured that mums and dads sometimes leave each other, but parents never leave their kids. Also, your children need to know that you did not leave them (I presume you will be actively involved in their lives), and never will leave them. Neither will their father leave them. You moved out because one parent had to leave. However, you moved close by to be near them.

Children are often scared and angry when parents get a divorce. They should be encouraged to express their feelings - to get them out in the open. Parents can validate their feelings. For example: 'I can see why you would be upset with Dad and me for being divorced. We disrupted your lives. It made things upsetting for you.' If children are especially upset from a divorce, they might welcome an opportunity to talk out their feelings with a counsellor.