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Stop problem behaviour before it starts
The old saying 'prevention is better than cure' is never truer than when dealing with children. Jo Douglas, author of Toddler Troubles gives advice on how to prevent your child's behaviour problem before it gets out of handThe first steps are:
- learning to anticipate your children's behaviour
- working out how to avoid the potential problem
Anticipation means learning about your child's behaviour by watching him. See how he plays and how long for with any toy. What attracts him to touch and play with things? Are they noisy? Are they new? Does he need your help and guidance to help him play? Does he try to break things or take them apart? How quickly does he get bored? Watch how he reacts in various places: the supermarket, someone else's house. Once you know how your child behaves, you can start to anticipate what is going to happen - so you will be prepared.
Be watchful
Anticipation is also helped by watching your preschooler all of the time. If he is out of your sight for ten minutes then he is likely to be exploring and chances are that he is getting himself into trouble. It is a fact of life that you can no longer have a bath, or even go to the toilet, without knowing where your toddler is and what he is doing - and that's even when he's in there with you!
Even if your partner takes the responsibility of watching your toddler, it can still be very tiring because you can never totally relax. That's why having your first child can be so tiring - when you have more than one, the older child will often tell you if his little brother is doing something that he shouldn't!
Be prepared
To avoid problems, use the knowledge you've stored by watching your child and understanding his stage of development. Make the home environment safe and child-proof: remove plants and electrical equipment off the floor when your baby starts crawling; use stair gates to prevent him going up and down stairs when you are not looking; put child-proof locks on kitchen cupboards.
When you are out and about, have toys and food and drinks to use as distractions if your child is getting bored sitting in the buggy. Talk to him to involve him in your activities; sing songs to engage him and keep him happy. Keep shopping trips short - don't expect him to sit happily for an hour in the buggy while you look at dresses.
An old study watched mothers with their preschoolers in supermarkets (Holden, 1983). It showed that were three different types of mothers. Some would shout at their children, telling them off when they started to misbehave. Another group would distract their children once they started to be difficult, and the third group avoided problems by talking to their children and involving them in the shopping. The mothers who were able to anticipate the problems and avoid them before they even started had the least problem. But the mothers who shouted had the greatest difficulty and their children made the greatest number of demands on them.
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