Tips on what to use and avoid for babies at bath time
A chance to win £100 worth of shopping vouchers
My child is a worrier
The world is a strange place to a toddler, so it's not surprising that they have fears and worries. Jo Douglas, author of Toddler Troubles gives some ideas to help them overcome their anxietiesKatie's story
Katie, aged three, was described as very fearful by her mother. She hated loud noises and would make her mother go the long way round to the shops to avoid some road works on their road. She would cry in the house when the vacuum cleaner was switched on. She would startle and cry if she heard a dog bark and so was reluctant to go to the park. Even at playgroup she would sit with her hands over her ears, as she did not like the noise that the children were making. Her mother had tried to avoid situations that would upset her and had stopped the playgroup attendance, but was concerned that Katie was becoming cut off from her own age group.
A plan was made to help Katie gradually learn to cope with the noises. Her mother took her gradually closer to the road works on successive days until she was able to go past it with no problem. She used the vacuum cleaner in another room and gradually brought it closer to Katie in the house until she could be in the same room. At playgroup she was encouraged to stay initially for a short time and then the time was extended until she learned to cope with the whole morning. Katie became much more confident and able to play with her friends without being fearful and avoidant.
Learning to cope
When your child is showing anxiety and fear it is natural to want to protect them and take them away from the problem situation. But if you find that your child's ability to carry on a normal social life is being affected by their fears, then he needs help to learn how to cope better rather than avoid the problem.
Your job as a parent is to control the impact that the world has on your child. You modulate and control his experiences and help him learn how best to manage new or fearful situations. If a child is anxious, it will not help to force him to face up to his fears. This can often make the situation worse if the child cannot control his level of anxiety. Toughening him up by throwing him in the deep end can be very traumatic. It seems far better to gradually introduce him to the feared situation with your support and reassurance.
Phobias are often linked to a specific experience that your child has had. Being frightened by a barking dog, being stung by a wasp, hearing a story or watching a TV programme can all be the cause of a phobia developing. Something that seemed trivial to you may have seemed terrible to your child. In other cases your phobias may be transferred to your child. If you're terrified of spiders, then your reaction when you see one will alarm your toddler and he may learn to be frightened because you are.
1 | 2 | next
printer friendly
send to a friend
Delicious
Digg
reddit
Facebook
StumbleUpon
Horoscopes| Message Boards | Quizzes | Newsletters | Join
iVillage Ltd is a UK company registered in England & Wales (3837269) at 80-110 New Oxford Street, London WC1 1HB
