Stay-at-home dads

'My wife, Alex, was about seven months pregnant when the idea of one of us giving up work first occurred. Alex was stuck on M25 while I was in the office where I worked as a store manager. We were both having a bad day and I jokingly said that if anyone was going to stay home full-time it would be me. To my surprise, Alex suggested talking more about the idea that night.

'We originally thought we'd get away with six months of me not working and Alex as the family breadwinner. She was a regional sales manager for a drugs company and earning good money. I left my job in November 1999, shortly before the end of Alex's maternity leave, and we had six fantastic weeks together with Ethan, which provided a bedding-in period while I got to grips with taking over the childcare. I'm a firm believer that mothers have some instincts that dads don't naturally have, so this was important.

'We had a fantastic network of friends through the NCT group and antenatal classes, and they all welcomed me with open arms because of Alex having laid the groundwork. The only problems I've had have been with strangers who think I must have been made redundant, gone long-term sick or have some other reason for staying home. They can't accept that I've chosen to do it.

'I don't think Ethan is missing out on anything. Ideally, parents should sing from the same hymn sheet, and we've always tried to maintain a consistent approach to his upbringing.

'As time has gone by, going back to work has become less of an issue, and I've started back at college, learning how to be a basic skills tutor in adult literacy. We're expecting our second baby any day now, and Alex will be on maternity leave until September, so we'll both be able to spend the summer with Ethan and the new baby before I take the reins again.'