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New mums start here

The first weeks or months of parenthood are not always a bed of roses. Kate Long, author of The Bad Mother's Handbook, gives some candid truths about early motherhood

I would never claim to be an expert in parenting; I have no medical qualifications, I have written no childcare books. I have, however, managed to produce two kids. Twice now, the mad fools have let me walk out of hospital with a baby to take home and keep. I remember all too well that shell-shocked feeling of 'Oh God, what now?'

So here's some advice from someone who's struggled through and come out the other side, albeit with smudged mascara and a belly that looks like a nasty old bit of sponge. Put the musical cot mobile on, re-position your V-shaped cushion, and listen for five minutes to your auntie Kate.

Your bits
First off, don't go round apologising for your figure. I know you're feeling vulnerable and self-conscious, but your body's had an important job to do and you are not Stretch Armstrong. It will take ages, and I mean months and months, before you begin to feel something like normal.

Cast aside thoughts of post-natal Liz Hurley and Madonna parading round in their skinny jeans: these women have nothing to do with your life right now. And if I catch you fretting over Heat magazine I shall be very cross.

Your partner
Is there a dad about? If so, 'big him up' immediately. Dads are only as useless as you tell them they are, so use 'descriptive praise' to reinforce good and helpful behaviour: 'You're so fantastic at getting baby to settle' or 'Gosh, how amazingly fast you are at changing nappies!'

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