Your parenting questions answered

Q: My son is three and a half years old, and I have a couple of worries about his development. Until recently he didn't draw at all. The other children in his pre-school seem to be trying to draw recognisable things like people, but my son just scribbles. If I try to encourage him, he cries. Just this last week or two, he has started to ask to do drawing, but he just draws different sized circles all over the page. It's very neat, but he doesn't seem to be trying to actually draw anything real.
pygmalion

Dr Carol Cooper:
Your son is probably normal, but I'm sorry, it's going to be hard to give you a firm answer. It's good that he is making circles and loops. While it may not sound much of an achievement, it's important because it means he can use a line to make enclosed spaces, so it's a developmental leap forward. But it is a little unusual that he's not trying to draw specific things.

I think you need to find out more. For instance, when he draws for you, what is he trying to draw, or what, if anything, does he say his 'picture' is? Has your health visitor (or your GP) seen and observed your son? Does your son hold his pencil or crayon properly in his hand? Can he copy? At two, kids can usually copy a straight line, at three a circle, at four a cross. Is his eyesight OK?

I don't mean to make you worry, and I suspect that all will be fine. Before long, you'll probably find there'll be no stopping him from drawing a whole range of things, and possibly all over the walls as well. But these months and years are important in a young child's development, so it's wise to get this checked out as a precaution.

Q: I have three-year-old twin boys. We didn't start trying to potty train them until quite recently, as they just didn't seem ready before. One of them did really well, and was pretty well done after two days, with hardly any accidents. After a month, he is usually dry at night too. But his brother is showing no inclination at all. He says he `loves? his pull-ups and doesn't want to use the potty or toilet, in spite of seeing the praise (and chocolate) his brother gets when he does it right.
dino_2

Dr Carol Cooper:
As it happens, I've got twin boys too (and wrote a book on twins). I have learned from experience that twins don't always do the same things at the same time, or develop at the same rate. If they weren't twins but two cousins the same age, then you probably wouldn't have posted this question at all.

It's only been a few weeks since the other twin became dry, and there's no rush, so don't worry. My advice is to leave it to your son. Don't scold, don't bribe. He knows he has a potty to hand (it has to be his own, not shared), and he knows what it's for. Eventually, he'll use it. If, come the summer, he still shows no desire to use a potty, and then you can leave him with his nappy off, perhaps out of doors, and see what happens. I'm sure he'll become both clean and dry before you know it.