Your parenting questions answered

Q: My 19-month-old daughter loves vegetables so much she hardly eats anything else. Every evening I give her something like shepherd's pie or fish pie with veggies on the side. She will refuse the main part and happily munch the veg. Her favourites are peas, green beans, carrots and baby sweetcorn. I don't want to not serve her veg in case she doesn't eat the main thing I serve her. Even if she can see all the veggie bits in, say a shepherd's pie she isn't tempted. She likes to pick up individual vegetables.
Stinny

Dr Carol Cooper:
I think you're absolutely right to continue serving your daughter the vegetables she loves. It's perfectly possible to grow up normal and healthy while eating only veg (as for instance vegetarians do) but I can understand your desire to help your child eat a varied diet. Serve the veg she enjoys, and do also put some meat or fish on her plate, ideally the same as you're having, or very similar.

By the way, she might like some meaty finger foods, for instance chicken sticks, or kebabs (having taken the bits off the skewer for your child). But whatever you do, don't pressure her.

Her tastes will eventually become broader. Meanwhile, my main concern is that a mainly veggie diet does not have much in the way of iron, and there's evidence that many toddlers are at risk of iron-deficiency. Iron is important for physical growth, and it's also vital for brain development and concentration, something that I've covered in my book Your Clever Baby. You can increase your daughter's iron intake by offering more green veg, dried apricots, and also cereals, many of which are fortified with added iron. Also, drinking orange juice with a meal helps absorb more of the iron.

Q: My 10-week-old son is a nightmare. He wants to be at the breast constantly, yet he only seems to feed properly for a minute or two. He is gaining weight but not very much, although he has grown six centimetres. Also, he will not sleep on his own for any length of time, except in a baby swing. So, the only way we get any sleep at night is for me to sleep with him, which is fine, except I have to stay in a position where he can find my breast.

The sleeping arrangement is making him so clingy too, and because he can find my breast whenever he wants at night, he seems to want it during the day too. I'm not certain whether it's because he's not getting enough and is hungry, or if he just wants to comfort himself.
maree32

Dr Carol Cooper:
My first thought is that you are having an awful time and really need to get a break, before things get worse and you become depressed. It's hard to give advice that's ideal for you, because I only know you from what you posted. Your health visitor may be better placed to help you, and I strongly suggest you see her again. In addition to checking on your baby's growth (you say he hasn't gained much weight) I think you should tell her exactly how you're feeling.

I suspect your baby is using your nipples as a dummy. He probably won't stop anytime soon, at least not of his own accord. On the practical level, you really have two options. One is to carry on as you are, with your baby in your bed, which in my book isn't much of an option at all. What's more, he may continue wanting to sleep with you until he's a toddler.

The other option is to put him in a cot, right now, in your room. It may be traumatic for a while, but it's much better to do this now than when he's older (especially when he gets old enough to climb out of the cot). When he cries, use the 'checking' method of patting him on the back, telling him to go to sleep, and then leaving him. Your health visitor can tell you more, and there are also details in my book, Baby & Child Questions & Answers.

You don't mention if you have a partner at home with you, but if you do, then make sure you get practical help. And if you don't, then explore other possibilities. I really believe you need support and someone to give you a hand, for the sake of your health and that of your baby.