Understanding their dreams and nightmares

Your child's dreamscapes

I call your child's dreams their dreamscapes - this is because they represent the landscape of their sleeping mind. Your child's dreamscapes can give you an idea of their general well-being or insecurities.

By keeping a mental note of their dreamscapes - whether positive and happy or frightening and unhappy - you can chart how they're doing with something as important like you separating from your partner.

The more you connect with your child in casual conversation about what they dreamed of, the more you'll be able to chart their dreamscapes.

Understanding their dreams

Your child will dream completely unique things that relate to how they're feeling in themselves and also how they're doing, say, at school.

Children's dreams become very detailed from about the age of six onwards, but even before then they can recall important - and sometimes detailed - images from their dreams and nightmares.

Here are five key things to consider, to help you understand their dreamscapes:

1. Always keep an open mind and don't rush to immediately put a meaning to a particular dream.
2. Let your child describe in their own words their dream or nightmare.
3. Ask them about critical details including: if there was anyone they knew in their dream, if they recognise the place they were in, and what the overall 'feeling' of their dream was.
4. Remember that what might seem to be an unusual dreamscape, with no meaning, might relate to an emotion or an event that your child's sleeping mind has 'disguised'.
5. In my book I include a directory of dream images and what they can potentially mean. Always remember that your child's unique and depending on what's happening in their dreamscapes the images might have a different meaning to common dream meanings and themes.

Three common nightmare symbols:

1. Getting lost in unknown territory like a jungle or wilderness: this sort of unknown image that can feel overwhelming to a child may symbolise your child feeling at a loss over a situation. They feel they don't know how to solve it and it feels like they've stepped into the unknown with the situation.
2. Falling off something high like a building, wall or cliff: this may bow symbolise that your child doesn't feel supported at home, school or somewhere else over a troubling issue.
3. Monstrous nightmare images: these are different to nightmares of specific animals (like a zoo animal or wild dog). These tend to symbolise generalised anxieties where your child might be feeling fearful generally over something like school. They take on these unknown but ghoulish shapes that haunt your child's nightmare.

Three common wellbeing symbols:

1. Having extraordinary powers like flying: if your child's dream contains images of extraordinary powers it symbolises that they're going through a positive time of personal and/or emotional, and/or academic development. They literally feel like they're flying/sailing through it.
2. Reaching the top of a mountain, a big wall, etc. accompanied by positive emotions: such dream imagery symbolises your child having mastered something like a new skill. They're literally rising to the challenge.
3. Being in front of the class or friends accompanied by a good feeling: such dream symbols can signal that your child feels accepted in their peer group.

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