Parenting 

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Setting the boundaries

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• Hold yourself back, if you’re tempted to hit. You can turn the action into a hand clap or a smack on the table to get your children’s attention.
• If children are about to do something dangerous, hold them back physically. When they’re very young, you just have to keep them safe and then explain your concerns. Hitting children for stepping into the road or grabbing the teapot tells them nothing useful, just that you’re cross, and that, it’s fine to hit people when you’re cross.
• Calm down time can be important for everyone. Perhaps your child needs to have a place to sit and wind down – not a ‘naughty’ place, just a peaceful place. Parents often need to count to ten as well. To avoid a battle and re-start with your child in a friendly way, without nagging or harking back.

Parents don’t need to pretend to be perfect. If you’ve been unfair or shouted, then show that you can say ‘sorry’ and mean it. Overall, put your main effort into ‘catching children out being good’. Young children flourish with plenty of encouragement for what’s gone well. They’re disheartened if only their ‘bad’ behaviour gets a decent amount of attention.

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