iVillage logo
Parenting 
Advertisement
Topics
iVillage shopping

Hot stuff
Newsletters
sign up for FREE!




 
Promotions
Tune into
your teen

Smacking advice

by Coram Family

question
For most of the time my five-year-old son is great and we get on fine but he’s obstinate and determined and already knows how to wind me up. Several times I’ve got so exasperated with him that I’ve smacked him. It often happens at the end of the day when I’m trying to cope with bathing the baby and looking after my seven-year-old as well. I feel bad about smacking but I’ve tried to stay calm and talk things through with him. It doesn’t work. I don’t know how to get round this problem because he is so strong-willed. Any suggestions?

answer
Coram

You are right that it is important to do your level best not to smack children. It does not help in the long run and unfortunately gives them the impression that smacking is an acceptable way to finish arguments.

The end of the day run is very wearing. Are you on your own at home? Because if you have a partner, then this is exactly the time of day when you need help and the older children could do with some special attention from their other parent. If you cannot have help or perhaps your partner travels a lot and so is away, look at how to occupy the older children at this time. Can they be your helpers in any way with the baby? Watching television isn’t always the answer, but this might be the time they are allowed their one video of the day?

Your children are still quite young but you might be able to try some problem-solving with your five-year-old, with the co-operation of the seven- year-old. Try something along the lines of, ‘I know it’s so busy at bath time. I don’t want to turn into a grouch. But I need to bath the baby. What can we do about it?'

Why not chat to other iVillagers about smacking on the Mums of Children Aged 5 - 12 message board. Take a look at some of the LIVE discussions happening now on the board:

iVillage TV - Pregnancy experts

View video in larger player
Delicious     Digg     reddit     Facebook     StumbleUpon