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  |  Toddler & Pre-school  |  Sleep  |  Cot to bed transition
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Cot to bed transition

by Gayle Peterson

question
I have a 27-month-old daughter who has just learned to climb out of her cot. Every time I put her there, she just climbs out again, and we repeat the process. She ends up falling asleep in my lap, and then I put her to bed. How can I get her to go to bed and stay there?

answer
Consider buying a new bed for your daughter. Clearly, she is not a baby anymore, and the cot is no longer an effective way to keep her staying put at bedtime. In fact, it may act as a challenge to her to climb her way out. View this new ability to climb out of bed as a developmental milestone. React with encouragement and congratulations as well as defining new expectations for a set of skills for ‘staying in bed’. This will help focus her on new goals appropriate to her new abilities.

Recognise the fact that she is now a ‘big’ girl who can be in a bed of her own. Communicate your clear expectation that with this ‘rite of passage’ to her child's bed comes the responsibility to stay in it. Invite her participation in choosing a bed and the sheets that go with it. A new stuffed animal and a bedtime story may complete the nightly ritual, which helps her to voluntarily remain in her own bed.

If she has difficulty at first, express your confidence in her ability to learn how to do it. Suggest different things that may help. A nightlight, keeping the door ajar or playing soft music may assist her in feeling cosy in her new bed. Things that may help mark this passage of growth can include placing florescent stars on her bedroom wall that retain light for a short time after her bedroom light is turned out. (Make sure she doesn’t find them scary though.) These and other creative ideas can help her to achieve success in your new expectations of her.

Since your daughter has no trouble sleeping in her cot once you place her there, it is likely that she is simply ready for a new phase of development. Clarify and reward her for her ability to remain in bed even though she is quite capable of physically getting out of it. Bedtime rituals will help ease this transition and imbue her with a sense of esteem and confidence as a ‘big’ girl with her very own bed.

Good luck.

Why not chat to other iVillagers about sleep issues on the Sleep and Toilet Training message board. Take a look at some of the LIVE discussions happening now on the board:

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