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  |  Schoolage (5 - 12)  |  Behaviour  |  How to handle a liar
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How to handle a liar

by Charlene Giannetti and Margaret Sagarese

question
My son lies to us all of the time. We decided to be harder on him and it now costs him £1 each time he does. It seems to be working, because he is tired of being broke all of the time. My son is ten, and we never lie to him. Why does he lie?

answer
Chronic liar is a label that fits many children between the ages of 11 and 15. No, your son is not the only ten-year-old who could fill in for Pinocchio at his longest-nose best! Lying is a reflex of this age group, because at this time they are insecure, afraid of messing up and prone to looking at parents as the enemy.

Children of this age covet privacy, and many fib to protect their rights to it. While a parent should never excuse lying, it helps to understand why their kids seem so dishonest. Since both conscience and the need for privacy emerge during these years, it is prime time for parents to put the values of honesty and integrity centre stage. Point out the consequences of lying. Model honesty yourself by watching for those little white lies, because kids love to catch parents in a hypocritical moment. Reward honesty, even if you also punish your child for lying. Integrity is a skill that requires building, and now is the time to lay the foundations.

Why not chat to other iVillagers about teenagers on the Parents of Teens message board. Take a look at some of the LIVE discussions happening now on the board:

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