10 sex education talking points

6. Clarify the danger of oral sex. In today's culture, oral sex is considered casual and convenient. Raised in the shadow of AIDS, our children seize upon oral sex, assuming that it's safe sex and, technically, doesn't undo virginity. Explain that any exchange of bodily fluid can result in STDs or HIV. Define abstinence.

7. Offer a checklist for sexual decision-making. How does someone decide that it's right to have sexual intercourse? Discuss typical reasons. Love. Boyfriend or girlfriend pressure. Pressure from peers. Lower inhibitions after drinking or using drugs. Here is where you inject your values - when and why one would take this step.

8. Link sex to emotional consequences. Sex is a physical drive, but with emotional connections. Put sex in a loving context. Explain how it bonds people deeply. Once sex happens people are more vulnerable. Broken hearts hurt more. Reputations get juicier. Regrets happen.

9. No parent gets off the hook. Mothers and fathers each bring important perspectives to sex talks. It helps if boys can hear from their fathers about what is appropriate and what's not, and while mothers are better able to demystify women to their sons, dads can best explain men to their daughters.

10. Take advantage of all the help you can get. TV, films, magazine articles, newspaper stories - all provide teachable moments. Use everyday opportunities to comment and listen to opinions from your young adolescent. The sex talk is an ongoing educational conversation.

Finally, remember having sex is not a punishable offence.