Q: My daughter is 14 and often spends up to eight hours a day on the computer. I worry about the effects on her health and I am confused about which is more dangerous - her being outside on her own, or online. joneschick
A: I'd say eight hours in a single session is way too much, even for an adult. However, the truth is, it depends entirely on what you daughter is doing. If it were a major piece of research for some homework, several hours might not be over the top. I would start looking a little more closely if that happened very often. A computer is not a substitute for fresh air or for developing conventional, inter-personal skills and relationships. Having an Internet connection in your house is a bit like inviting the whole world into your living room. That can be a great idea sometimes, but there are risks that go along with that, just as there are with playing out in the street.

Q: I have tried to make my two children (13 & 15) aware of the dangers of chat rooms, but wondered if you have any tips on how to make them aware of when things become inappropriate in a chat room. miss_suger A: There are several well known warning signs, the most important being if someone asks you to leave the public space of the chat room and go off for a one to one, which could be because they do not want any witnesses to what they are about to say next. Another is to watch for any questions such as 'how you get on with your Mum and Dad and the rest of your family?' or 'Do you have many friends?' Paedophiles are often looking for lonely, isolated or angry children whom they can befriend. Similarly alarming is when anybody specifically asks that you keep your conversations secret, or asks you to destroy any emails or other records of your contacts. Watch for someone tricking you into revealing your age, especially if they come straight back and say that, funnily enough, they are just two or three years older than that. And, of course, if they try to get you to send any pictures of yourself and/or your friends, or they try to get into any kind of sexual chat, these too ought to act as alarm bells. Sooner or later, they will ask for an email address, an IM handle, even a mobile phone number so they can text and talk. What all this often leads up to is a request for a real life meeting. That's the most worrying request of all and should always be turned down or, if your child is determined, make sure you go with them to the first meeting, which should always be in a public place, with lots of people around.

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Internet Safety and Children