In a recent survey*, around half the number of teenagers questioned advised parents not to nag their teens. It can be tempting to nag, especially when we feel frustrated. However, the bottom line is that at whatever age we all resent a nagger. Avoid focusing on the bad stuff and try to use more positive language to offer encouragement instead. So, rather than moaning at them to stop watching TV and do their homework, change tack and suggest recording programmes so they can be watched after an hour's worth of studying. And perhaps bring them a cuppa and a biscuit to help them along. A bit of friendly bribery might just do the trick!

Don't try to change them

Your teenager is a unique individual at an advanced stage of personal development. It can be a confusing enough period of self-discovery without having parents trying to push you into corners where you just don't fit. Accept your teen as they are, and celebrate their personalities and interests rather than overlooking or being ashamed of them.

Don't take things personally

Teens tend to say things in the heat of the moment. At a time when their hormones are running riot, it's easy for a normal conversation to flare up over something that might seem trivial to you. In many ways, teens have to blow a fuse a few times to learn how to control their feelings and express themselves more constructively. So stay calm at all times and lead by example.

Don't shout

Your voice may be louder, but this doesn't mean they will listen to you any better or indeed respect you any more. Any show of aggression is likely to be counter-productive; it can push them away further or even make them display aggressive behaviour themselves.

Don't preach

You might have the wisdom of age and experience, but don't forget that an essential process along the journey to adulthood is choosing your own paths and learning to overcome mistakes. Be there to guide them through any difficult life choices, but resist any assumption that you 'know best'. In particular, avoid using patronising language, such as saying anything along the lines of 'When I was your age...' If you do this you'll sound like an annoying old fart; in which case, how will your advice sound relevant to them?

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10 dos and don'ts of dealing with teenagers

Don't nag

Don't try to change them

Don't take things personally

Don't shout

Don't preach