Our guide to being an embarrassing parent

How to be a cool parent

When it comes to being a 'cool' parent out of the teenagers surveyed only one in ten chose the word 'cool' when asked to pick five words to best describe their parents. The top five coolest things their parents could or have done are:

• Treat you like young adults
• Give you space/not fuss when you have friends over
• Let your friends hang out at your house
• Treat you to nice things, e.g. clothes, holidays, meals out, etc
• Offer lifts to you and your friends

But a word of warning from our teenager, Alex, who says: 'Be cool, but not too cool. Don't be cooler than your kids.'

As difficult as the teenage years can be for both teenagers and their parents, they will come out of it the other side as young adults and our panel have given us their top tips for helping teenagers and their parents get through the teenage years as smoothly as possible:

Phil Vickery: 'Have a dialogue with your kids. Don't talk down to them.'

Arabella Weir: 'Don't forget what it was like for you when you were a teenager. It was just the same for you and it doesn't need to be as stressful as people make it. And remember that you don't have to win every battle.'

Lynn Llewellyn-Jones: 'Listen to them, let them talk to you and when they're proposing something don't say 'no' automatically, give yourself some time to think about it.

Alex Bello: 'Reward them! Trust them. For example, if my friends have done something wrong and my mum finds out, don't assume that I've done it as well.'

Judi James, a leading TV expert in body language, relationships and social behaviour, agrees with Alex.

She says: 'Don't make assumptions about your teen. There's often an assumption that things are prompted by all the worst reasons when in actual fact sometimes they're not. Behaviour doesn't define a personality, so if somebody does something that's not pleasant for one moment, it doesn't necessarily mean they're a bad person.

I think teenagers go through a whole range of feelings and emotions in one day that for most adults would probably happen in the space of ten years, but it shouldn't define them and create one huge dark mark against them.'

She adds: 'It's a healthy thing for society that each generation will question the previous generation's values.'

'Parents aren't always right. Can you imagine if you all did exactly what you were told and didn't question things? You might question things and then find that you agree with it, but this is natural.'

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