What are your teens getting up to?

Top tips for parenting teens

• Lead by your example. If you get hysterical easily or scream when angry then your teen will probably behave this way. Getting a grip on your own behaviour will give them a good role model.
• Let them know they're loved. If your teenager seems positively awful at times, they'll pick up on your negative feelings. If you don't let them know how loveable they are at other times you can damage their self-esteem. Research shows the lower their self-esteem, the more likely they'll become depressed and/or abuse drugs, alcohol or have sex before they're ready.
• Know who their friends are and encourage them to invite them over. If they feel there's a welcoming attitude at home they're more likely to bring friends home giving you the chance to monitor their friendships. Any friends that you feel are a bad influence you should discuss your concerns with your teen tactfully, but honestly.
• Think before you punish them if they've overstepped the mark. When you're enraged because they've come home drunk, cool down before you set a punishment. Because if while you're angry you say they're grounded for three months you'll only backtrack later. What's important with discipline is that it's consistent. You can ground them (for a reasonable amount of time) or take away privileges like pocket-money, phone use or television.
• Encourage interests. During the pre-teen years children often start to give up hobbies and interests, and socialising can completely take over. Encourage your child to keep one sport, hobby, or activity going, to give them a focus that is solely their own and not dependent on their peers. Research shows that teens with at least one strong interest, particularly in sport, are less likely to use drugs or alcohol inappropriately.
• Take a day-by-day approach. Parents can feel overwhelmed when they see months and years ahead of 'bad' teenage behaviour. Tackling issues as they arise will help you get through things.
• Never give up on your teen! You may face dark days, where, for example, you discover they've been taking drugs or have had sex too early, but don't turn your back on them.

Freedom and curfews
Keeping an open dialogue about where they're going and what they're doing is imperative. You have the right to set certain curfews and ensure they avoid any 'hot spots' where you know teens hang out and take drugs. Every neighbourhood seems to have such an area!

It's important that as your teen gets older you allow them more input into curfews and freedom to spend their time how they wish. Right from the outset you should agree certain principles like they have to complete schoolwork and household chores before meeting friends.

Don't be fooled by the plea that their friends get to 'stay out much later' than they do. Ring up their friends' parents and together agree a reasonable time for your teens to be home. More and more parents are working successfully together like this.