What are your teens getting up to?

Sex and relationships
Research has found that half of teenagers regret their first sexual experience and nearly 80 per cent wish they'd waited longer. Not only do parents need to consider issues like preventing pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs) but such research suggests that every parent should be concerned with the emotional implications of early sexual experiences.

It's important to put aside any embarrassment you might feel and put your child's well-being first by making frank sexual discussions a reasonably regular occurrence. I stress regular because a one-off discussion about sex when your child is 13 will soon be forgotten.

Begin by asking what they have learned at school. Then ask if there's anything they feel they'd like to know. Have ready a guide about sexual matters geared at adolescents to offer them. Let them know you understand if this discussion makes them feel a little uncomfortable.

Next you can ask them about what they've heard about sex and relationships from their peers, and what they think of the stories they hear. Finally discuss with them the pressure they will find themselves under even from outwardly 'nice' boyfriends or girlfriends.

Giving a realistic view
You can stress that it can feel good getting physically close to someone but it's a very different thing going all the way. Stress how important it is that they put themselves first in relationships and let them know they can always talk to you about worries.

Adolescent relationships can be very intense even when no sexual activity is involved. Don't laugh at their 'puppy love'. If your teen feels ridiculed over their feelings towards someone then they're far less likely to come to you if they have a problem. When they do bring a boy or girlfriend home, insist they stay in family areas. As they get older, you could allow them in their bedroom if there's some reason, like a television or CD player in there, as long as they leave the door open and you pass by regularly.

Parents get worried about laying down such boundaries, but these actually make your teen feel more secure and less vulnerable to pressure. If you find it very difficult to talk to them about sexual health matters then get them to check out www.sexplained.com which has good, straightforward information. And for information on contraception see www.fpa.org.uk

Finally, it is your duty as a parent to try and keep your child safe from early sexual experiences for as long as possible. Every day counts and it's worth your time and effort to back them up in the face of peer pressure, and help them grow the confidence needed to know when the right time is to have sex.