Your teen and drugs

Be ready to spot the symptoms:

• Lack of energy - feeling tired all the time
• Eating problems
• Unexplained or sudden change to a new group of friends
• Changes in physical appearance eg reddened eyes
• Dropping out of previously enjoyed activities eg sport
• Mood swings
• Valuable items or money missing from the home
• A drop in school performance or truancy
• Silence, sulking or anger towards others

With the exception of money going missing, all the symptoms associated with possible drug use could be put down to just being a normal teenager who is experiencing some emotional pressure - perhaps over friends or schoolwork.

Talk about drugs before it's an issue

If we are wise, we'll spend a fair amount of communication in listening, but teenagers want to hear their parents' thoughts on the subject.

It can be very empowering for teenagers to know more about drugs than their friends and may well allow them to be a little more secure in saying no. Our conversations could start by picking up on what our teenagers are learning at school or a storyline in one of the TV soaps.

When we talk with our children we need to share our own views and why we hold them. Whatever our opinions, we need to let our children know what our personal boundaries are. The really scary thing in this area is not that children are not paying attention to us, but that they are. The simple truth is that their behaviour will be influenced by ours.

If we use drugs, our children are more likely to. This is not only true of illegal drugs, but legal ones as well. If we smoke, they are more likely to. They will watch how we use alcohol and if the first thing they see us do when we get home from a stressful day at work is to pour a glass of wine, they will remember this.

Make their friends welcome in your home

There may come a time when you believe that it is dangerous for your teenager to mix with certain friends, and you may be wise to do all you can do discourage them from seeing those friends. But generally, make your teenager's friends welcome even if they wouldn't be your ideal choice. If you ban them from seeing them, they will probably do so anyway.

Build your teenager's sense of personal value

Encourage them to believe that they can make their own decisions and don't have to go along with the crowd. From the youngest age possible let them know that you are interested in them. Know who their friends are, their teachers' names, and their ambitions and fears.

If a parent has shown consistent interest in a child, then concern about drugs in the teenage years is not so easily seen as 'prying'. And unless it's absolutely necessary, don't go searching for drugs in their bedroom - if your teenager finds out, the sense of betrayal can be devastating.