Our straight talking Lancashire lass takes a sideways look at the daily news.
Politico-ructions in Westminster
When politicians talk, my brain tends to shut off because in general they spout a load of guff that generally means nothing. But there is one politician who has been coming across all Rambo in the press, and causing endless amusement for yours truly…
Liberal Democrat MP Vince Cable, AKA John McClane has said some pretty sensational things to two undercover reporters posing as constituents. First, he bragged that he could ‘bring the government down’, adding that he has the ‘nuclear option’ of resigning ‘if pushed too far’.
If that wasn’t hard-as-nails enough, Cable then squares up like the bad ass maverick he is, saying that he’s ‘declared war’ on Mr Murdoch… ‘And I think I’m going to win.’
Then, with a sneer, he spat his burning cigarette stub onto the floor, ground it with the spurred heel of his El Presidente cowboy boot heel, jumped on his black stallion and rode into the sunset.
This proves what we always thought about in-fighting within the Coalition government. But it also shows that when you use Die Hard With a Vengeance rhetoric in Parliament you certainly pique interest in politics.
Unfortunately for Cable, all this big talk resulted in his being stripped of his regulatory powers. So although he managed to hang onto his job by the skin of his teeth, now he’s like a bulldog with no bite.
Quite a few Tories are annoyed that he wasn’t sacked, because he did breach Ministerial code. So how did he keep it? Was it bribery? He’d have a job! Under the new Bribery Act, corporate Christmas presents can be considered an offence and as from next year even a festive mouse pad could be considered a bribe. Meanies.
I had my corporate pressie dream list sorted. Not that I get corporate presents, because I don’t. But if I did, I’d like a years worth of chocolate and chocolate-related goodies, obviously. I’d also like complimentary fixie bike, because, well, why not? And above all, I want a singing mouse. Yes, Japanese scientists have genetically engineered mice that tweet like birds. Sometime in the future they are hoping to create a Mouse Voice Choir for cute Christmas sing-a-longs.
Actually, thinking about it, creating a super-strain of speaking mice is a bit creepy. Rodents are more likely to survive a nuclear holocaust, and these super-mice could eventually take over the world. It’s a dangerous game…
Should I be worried about this, or do I need to get out more?