Bringing baby home

Memory loss

You may find that you're very forgetful in the first few weeks when you bring your baby home. For example, forgetting when you last fed your baby or losing the end of sentences. Memory loss is often due to hormonal changes in your body and sleep deprivation. Your memory will come back, but give yourself a bit of time, as your body has been going through huge changes over the last nine months.

If you are struggling with forgetfulness, have a notebook or diary to hand and use it to jot down feed times and other things that you need to remember.

Tiredness

There will be days when you feel really exhausted, especially as you will be having broken nights. When you are very tired, you will probably find that you are more weepy and may feel that you are not coping with life in general. It can be difficult to make decisions and carry out day-to-day chores around the house. At this stage, the best thing you can do for yourself and the baby is to rest whenever you have the opportunity.

Don't worry if you need to go back to bed during the day or sleep when your baby is sleeping. If you can, hang on to the fact that the extreme tiredness will pass as your baby gets bigger and sleeps for longer at night.

Your relationship with your partner

The birth of your baby is a deeply emotional experience that you will share as parents for the rest of your lives. Most couples find that bringing a new baby home is a time of great upheaval and adjustment, as two become three. However, your relationship as a couple is still very important. Communication and time for each other will help you both as you adjust to your new roles as parents.

Many women struggle with dividing attention between their partner and their baby, particularly in the early weeks. You may feel that it takes all your time to look after your baby and yourself, and you don't have any time or energy to give to your partner.

You may find that at times you don't want your partner near you at all, as the baby is the focus of all your love and affection. If you feel like this, it is really important to be able to talk it through together.

Dads can often feel pushed out, particularly if there are lots of women around when you first come home from hospital. During the day you may have grandmothers, midwives or health visitors in and out of your house; one dad commented to me that it sometimes felt like a Mothers' Union meeting! Again, it's important to make time to listen to your partner about how he is feeling and how he would like to be included.

The Baby Book by Rachel Waddilove, published by Lion, is available from amazon.co.uk