Community support for breastfeeding

I really wanted to breast feed, but had problems like you. I also developed postnatal depression, and it was quite severe. I was advised to go on tablets, which were not compatible with breastfeeding. So I gave up on it, and my child was fine.

Yes, breast is best, but what is also important is that mum is happy - and not stressed. It's a balance. Please don't give yourself a hard time if you can't breastfeed. It is not your fault and will not make you any less of a mother.

Shopping for pain relief

cl-traciefk: Go to the chemist tomorrow and ask the pharmacist for a pain relieving spray that is specially developed for lactating mums. I can't remember the name but it was in a lilac tin and works wonders.

Next, go to the greengrocers and get a big Savoy cabbage - stay with me, this works a treat -tear off a leaf and put it in your bra so that it covers the whole area. It extracts all the heat from your breast and is really soothing. Put the rest of the cabbage in the fridge so it gets cool, and replace the leaf in your bra every now and then as it warms up, putting the used one back in fridge.

When sitting on a chair to feed, put two or three telephone directories under your feet as you need the baby to be the same height as your breasts so you can feed him without bending over him. Or lie down on your side and feed him in bed.

It does hurt like hell to start with but breathe through the pain and it will get better. Take paracetamol until it is easier, but don't drink fizzy drinks or eat grapes as babies hate both in milk.

Most of all, keep calm. You're a great mum. Bottle-feeding's perfectly OK, and it's not a crime.

Cup feeding

tollysmum: You sound like you need one-to-one help from a breastfeeding counsellor who will sit with you - try the NCT on 0870 444 8708 to be put in touch with one in your area, and ask for a visit. Best of luck, it really is worth fighting through because after the first painful and difficult bit, it's easy.

My counsellor told me to try cup feeding for topping up to avoid 'nipple confusion'. This involved breastfeeding him for as long as I could bear it, and then giving him about 100ml formula in a special little cup with a rounded rim, which she gave me, having covered him in nappies because it's messy.

I too had agonising nipples with huge bleeding splits and sores, and a baby who seemed to want to suck anything but me - and I had breastfed two other babies successfully. All his newborn plumpness melted away and he looked skinny with enormous eyes.

The cup feeding worked well, and we only needed to do it for a week before his weight improved and my nipples began to heal. I also used a dummy to keep him calm - although the breastfeeding police don't approve.