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My baby uses me as a dummy
My daughter, who is 11 weeks old, will not take a dummy. Instead she uses me as a human dummy in the evenings. How long does this usually last? Kim
Babies love breastfeeding. At the breast your baby not only receives your milk, but your love, so it's no surprise that she wants to spend a lot of time at her favourite place.
I have heard many mothers say that their baby is using them as a dummy. I know this is a comment made by mothers who are feeling overwhelmed by all the time it takes to mother a baby. I understand these feelings, because I've been in this situation myself. I also know that it is wonderful to comfort your baby at your breast, and to know that you are all your baby needs or wants at that moment.
Three-month-old babies do need to spend quite a lot of time feeding, whether they are breast or bottle-fed. Evening can be a time when your baby clusters her feeds close together. This is very common. It could be that she has started to space out her feeds during the day a bit. At around three months, a baby is beginning to take a real interest in the world around her and she may become distracted while breastfeeding, which can also make evening feeds take on a new importance. Depending on her feeding pattern, she may be taking in a good portion of her calories in the evening. Breast milk is digested in less than two hours, so generally, babies of this age feed every two to three hours.
Because most of us are tired in the evening, frequent feeds at that time of day can be frustrating. Encouraging your baby to feed more in the day, perhaps by carrying her around with you in a baby sling, may help to decrease the frequency of evening feeds. She will have easy access to your breast and will greatly benefit from all the close contact with you.
If you are feeling overwhelmed by your daughter's feeding pattern, it is really important for you to find ways to take care of yourself. Getting out and going for a walk in the fresh air every day may help to boost your energy. Meeting other new mothers can also help. Try contacting the National Childbirth Trust or the La Leche League to find other women with many of the same questions and concerns as you. Good friends can really help to get you through challenging times. Make it a point to take time for yourself each day. Don't forget the importance of eating well. Good, healthy food often goes by the wayside when you have a baby in the house. Make sure you have healthy, easy to grab snacks around the house, so that you can still be well fed on your busiest days. You can put containers of cut-up fruit and vegetables in the fridge, so a snack can be ready at a moment’s notice. When your baby needs to breastfeed a lot in the evenings, it can be helpful to set up a feeding area with everything you might need within an arm’s reach. Get comfortable and use this time to really relax.
Think of ways to make your life simpler, and allow yourself to enjoy these times with your baby, without feeling guilty about what's not getting done. Feeds will begin to space out before you know it and this time of intensity will pass.
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