Coping with the devastating loss of your baby

Registering your baby

This is something that probably hasn't crossed your mind and the thought of it might shock you, but most hospitals know how hard this is and your bereavement midwife will help you through.

They will explain your circumstances to the Registrar so you will be treated sensitively and, if possible, book an appointment at a quieter time of day. Larger hospitals also have a Registrar on-site.

'Our hospital booked the appointment with the Registrar. They explained our situation so we had a slot when no-one else (and no newborns) were there. Our Registrar cried too. She even gave our baby her official NHS number.' pokem02

In the UK, by law you have to register:

• a baby born alive at any time during pregnancy (no matter the gestation or how soon after birth they died)
• a baby who died in the womb at or after 24 completed weeks of pregnancy and is then stillborn.

In rare cases where baby is known to have died before 24 completed weeks but is born after 24 weeks, they cannot be registered as stillbirth. This is because pregnancy is defined as the time 'a female has a developing baby in her uterus' and so the pregnancy ended at the time baby died, not at the time of birth.

What do you need?

All you need is the Medical Certificate of Death or Stillbirth, which the hospital will give you. If you want a photocopy of it, take one before you see the Registrar as they aren't supposed to let you have a copy. A death must normally be registered within five days and a stillbirth within 42 days (21 in Scotland).

Who can register your baby?

If you're married, either of you can register your baby.

If you're unmarried and want both your names on the certificate, it's easiest if you both attend the Registrar together. However, if only one of you can go, you can make a Statutory Declaration of Acknowledgement of Parentage on 'Form 16' (16W for Welsh registrations) in front of an official (e.g. solicitor). Then simply give this to the registrar. Download 'Form 16' from www.gro.gov.uk.

If you go to the register office in the district where the birth/death or stillbirth happened, you will receive your certificate(s) straight away. If it's easier, you can go to your local register office but it will take longer, as your information will be sent back to the original district, which will then issue the certificates and post them to you.

'If you're unmarried and you want your baby to have Daddy's name on the certificate, the easiest way is to register your baby together.' goddess_trouble

For a birth and neonatal death

The Registrar will give you a 'green certificate'. That's all you need to arrange the funeral with a Funeral Director.

'Any baby, irrespective of gestational age, that is born alive and then dies...is a live birth and neonatal death and should be treated as such in terms of registration.' Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists Good Practice no. 5 'Pregnancy Loss before 24 Weeks Gestation' (Jan 2005)

For a stillbirth

Registering a stillborn baby (a baby who has died in the womb after 24 weeks of pregnancy) is slightly different to registering a birth and death. You will only get one certificate, a blue certificate of stillbirth. This will show only your baby's name. You can buy another showing baby's full name, date of birth and your names. The Registrar will then give you a 'white certificate'. That's all you need to arrange the funeral with a Funeral Director.

'I mentioned we'd be having Caitlin buried in Scotland (she was born in Bath). The registrar told me we'd need a different certificate and the coroner had to certify that she could be moved. This added lots of stress. Nobody seemed to know how to do it. It was even suggested that we drove her to Scotland ourselves. Our Funeral Directors stepped in and arranged it all.' Angela