Coping with the devastating loss of your baby

Seeing your baby again

'I was so upset by not having her home just the once. I wanted her to meet her grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.' pokem02

'I wish we had him at home the night before his funeral so, for at least one night, all my family could have been together under one roof.' Bethybabes

You and your family will be able to visit your baby at the hospital and the Funeral Director's Chapel of Rest. If you're worried about how your baby might look, ask the Funeral Director's advice. It might help to prepare you for the funeral if you can see your baby's coffin beforehand.

'Josie was born on a Friday and the hospital said that we and any other family members could come and see Josie at any point until the Funeral Director came to collect her and then he said that they could visit her in their Chapel of Rest. So we took family members down to see her on the Saturday evening.' josiesmum

'We were asked to think about letting our two other boys see Charlie. At the time we said no, I regret it a little now, the boys didn't ask to and we didn't think they needed to. I just hope they will understand when they are older and won't resent us for it, but it's something to think carefully about.' Alison

'I really regret that I didn't let my family meet Hugo, apart from Dan and my sister. I think I was scared to let them see him as I wanted it to be me that had seen him last, and I had said my goodbyes and didn't want to go and see him again because I was scared that I wouldn't leave him then.' Kate

'My in-laws took us back to the hospital to see Frankie again. I wish I'd taken my family too but I thought we'd see her again in the Chapel of Rest but, as she wasn't embalmed and the weather was hot, we were advised not to. I was shocked to realise I'd never see her again and my family would never get to meet her.' pokem02

'My biggest regret is that more people didn't meet Ellie. I'd waited so long to be a mum, then only a handful of people met my beautiful daughter.' Sue

'I'm glad we saw Frankie's coffin in the Chapel of Rest. We put flowers around her, lit candles, took photos, especially of her name on the plaque. But most of all, we talked to her. It was a shock, but prepared us for her funeral.' pokem02

'I think my biggest regret is never seeing Jack and Isabelle lying side by side. Jack was born and died two days before Isabelle was born and died. We never got to see them or photograph them together. I wish that we had thought of that at the time and asked the hospital to bring them to us together, as they always had been.' walshy2005