Fostering should not be undertaken lightly. Apart from the obvious pressures of being a parent to an unfamiliar child, there are also many obstacles to be overcome in the foster parent selection process.

The third degree

When considering fostering, the first step is to make enquiries at your local social services department or a private fostering agency in your area. Whatever you do, a social worker will come calling. They will quiz you on:

why you want to foster
the practicalities – how many bedrooms you have in your house, for instance

Incidentally, due to the pressure of incoming placements, many social workers allow children to sleep four to a room. We’ve heard them joke that if you’ve got cupboard space there’s space for a child. We think it’s vitally important that each child has their own room.

The questioning of your motives will be direct. There is no room for defensiveness here. The social workers need to investigate you thoroughly, and rightly so. You are putting yourself in a position of trust.

This can be intimidating. Society and the law – as represented by social services – are suddenly there in your life and home, sitting in judgement. You must remember that they mean well. They just have to be very careful about who they place their trust in. You must be prepared for a rather intrusive probing of your private life.

This process can take weeks or months to complete: the third degree meted out in two-hour sessions, twice a week. But finally, a formal assessment – known as an F1 – is put together and to presented to a panel.

Training

During the assessment, you will be required to undertake training, to heighten your awareness of the problems a child faces, and brings with it, when it arrives in your care.

If you are successful in getting through the panel, the training becomes more in-depth. Depending on your agency or local authority, and the budgets and constraints under which they work, the opportunities for training might include some of the following subjects:

Child protection
Life story work
Dealing with conflict
Emotional and behavioural problems
First aid, health and safety
Safe caring
Transactional analysis
Collaboration building techniques
Personal and professional development
Attachment disorder
Managing potentially violent incidents
Education and the looked-after Child
Listening skills

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Fostering: what you need to know