The impact of infertility

When a couple opts for treatment, they face a whole new set of problems.

• They may start arguing about which treatment to go for.
• They may worry about the financial pressure, if NHS funding isn't an option.
• The treatment itself may be painful, and the waiting time for treatment an incredible stress.

Couples say that waiting to see if the treatment has taken is often the worst – a woman is worried every time she goes to the loo, in case she's started her period. The discovery that the treatment has failed can happen any time – so you may have to deal with the indescribable disappointment in the supermarket or on a crowded tube train.

If you are trying to cope with treatment:

Plan for the long haul. There will be a lot of ups and downs, elation and despair – the infertility process is a real emotional roller coaster.

• If you can, relax, go out, see friends, take a holiday.
• Getting a life outside the treatment will help, take account of the physical impact of treatment – so, for example, expect major mood swings, if you're receiving hormone injections.
• You will be offered counselling – take it. You may feel as if you want to cope alone, but the more outside support you get, the more resilient you'll be, mentally and physically – and so more likely to conceive.

Fertility treatment seems stunningly successful – over 50,000 babies have been born through IVF alone, since the birth of Louise Brown, the first test tube baby. But for many couples, the outcome's not good. There is no baby, no chance of a baby – and they have to call a halt to treatment. If you reach the end of the treatment road, you will feel bereaved. Hope has kept you going, and now it's gone. Expect to grieve all over again – and seriously.

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