Sleep - are you getting any?

I became forgetful. Life was a merry round of returning to shops to collect wallet/keys/purchases. I've been so tired I've called Jimmy, my partner, Johnny, Joany and, rather worryingly, George.

We know, of course, that things will get better. With our own kids, we've had very different sleep experiences; the twins were pumped with nocturnal feeds until 15 months (these days, at three and a half, there's only the odd 'Wolf at the window!' scenario to deal with). Erin was left to yelp for two nights and now conks out for a respectable 11 hours. Every night, that is, not per week.

I am aware, however, that children's sleep is a fragile thing and therefore should be treated as something rare and precious. A friend, whose baby Benjy was sleeping soundly at five months, took to roaring for a three-hour stretch as he neared his first birthday. His mother confesses, 'It's hard to get through that without a stiff gin and tonic. Maybe it's bearable if you have a very large house and can park them in the East Wing. But Benjy shares with his sister Sally [who's five] so we can’t have that kind of rumpus in the night, unless we put Benjy in the shed.'

She might have hit something there. What we need are nocturnal babysitters: those who will tend to our children's 5 am demands for crackers/milk/stories and are paid handsomely for their services.

And we can sleep in the shed.