If you have a difference of opinion it is important to discuss it out of earshot of your children. They find it distressing if you argue in front of them and it doesn’t set a good example about handling disagreements. Show a consistent front. Children need to know where they stand or they may exploit the uncertainties. When more minor issues are involved, they can understand that Mum handles some things differently from Dad, or that Grandma will tolerate something that’s not allowed at home.

As your children get older and make a request you’re not sure about, you can postpone a decision with ‘I need to think about this’ or ‘Your Mum and I need to talk about this’. There will come a time when children and teenagers need to make their own choice on some issues. If you have managed to discuss and reason your way through parenting problems together, there’s a good chance your children will learn from your example. They will acquire the knack of putting their point of view, coping with different opinions and arriving at an acceptable compromise.

For more information:
See The Coram Family website.

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