Fancy becoming a father?
Once she was settled in the sitting room with baby in her lap and cuppa in her hand, I wasted no time on small talk and biscuits. Using all the tactics I had learned from those expensive residential courses in negotiating skills, man management and what was it? resource extraction and redeployment (aka sacking staff), I suggested to mother and grandmother that it would be more supportive if I split my paternity leave and took the second week, when grandmother had gone back north, a fortnight hence. That way, my wife wouldnt be alone with baby until the start of week five.
So, what youre saying is you cant wait to bugger off? my mother-in-law replied. Well, we are very busy at work, and
Go on then. Youll only get in the way and upset the baby. Sensible woman, my mother-in-law.
That was then. Seven years have elapsed and our baby is now a young schoolgirl with a strong personality, and a growing sense of self. We have another daughter now and together they make a formidable team. Watching them grow and helping them through every stage of their development, rekindles many memories of my own childhood. Its a poignant reminder of how important every member of a family is to each other, in the chain that links one generation to the next.
So, if I had my time again, would I still become a father? Absolutely.
Would I change anything? Well, I would like to see fathers develop a better capacity for communication with each other. Maybe an anthropologist would have a better explanation, as to why we dont readily talk about our children with our mates and fellow dads in the way that mothers do daily. At least iVillage has made a step in the right direction. In a way, that will preserve the great British sense of reserve, the Great Dad message board is somewhere to share your views with other dads in private, and in your own time, without anyone knowing. Mums the word, so to speak.
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