Preparing an 18-month-old for a new baby

Dear Joe,
Your daughter will need plenty of attention to reassure her that a newer model is not replacing her. Although it is not inevitable, having children close together (less than three years apart) can create friction between siblings because both need a lot of parental attention. Plan to give your daughter plenty of one-to-one time with daddy and start now.

Any changes that you think are necessary should not coincide with the new baby's arrival. There will be enough to adjust to when the new family member arrives, so keep change at that time to a minimum. If a new bedroom or bed is needed, make this change at least four to six weeks before your daughter becomes a big sister. Don’t assume that because she has a new brother or sister, your daughter must sleep in a bed instead of a cot, especially if she still enjoys and feels comforted by the cot she has got now.

If you stagger changes, your daughter will be less likely to associate her new room or bed with being displaced, and you will still be able to give her your undivided attention which will help her adjust to the new situation. Begin reading books to her about babies and talk to her about the baby in the womb. Although she will not completely understand, she will be primed for the baby's arrival when it happens.

Encourage her contact with as many babies as possible. Teach her the concept of ‘gentle’ when she touches babies, as well as other living things such as cats and dogs. This will help her practice the idea of becoming a ‘big sister’.