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Divorce - telling your children

This situation will be difficult for all of you but you are right that you need to tell your daughter what is happening.

• Explain that you and her Daddy are very unhappy living together (or some other word that is reasonably accurate) and need to live in different homes.
• Stress, and repeat for your daughter, that you are both very happy with her and she has done nothing wrong. Children, even teenagers, get very concerned that their behaviour may have caused the break up.
• Explain simply what will happen next, what will be the main changes for your daughter. Answer any questions she may ask. You may find that your daughter is just be very upset and wants you both, as the grown-ups, to make everything right again.
• Your daughter is still very young and she may need to be given a similar explanation and have answers to the same questions several times. Take each day and week as it comes and deal with your daughter’s feelings as she expressed them.
• The most important part of the splitting up for your daughter is that she continues to have easy access to her father. You and he cannot continue as husband and wife but you will be parents forever. You both need to deal with any adult difficulties in a way that leaves your daughter with two parents who love her, are involved in her life and spend time with her.

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