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  |  Pregnancy  |  Concerns  |  How to handle a pregnant girlfriend
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How to handle a pregnant girlfriend

by Susan Quilliam

question
My girlfriend Jane and I have just found out that we are going to have a baby. Jane likes to be free, and is easily irritated when fussed over. I'm a little concerned that if I fuss too much, I will get on her nerves and she will be fed up with me. I'm equally concerned that if I ease off a bit she'll think that I don't love her and the baby-to-be, when in fact I'm overjoyed and love her very much. Please, if you have any advice it would be greatly appreciated.

answer
First of all, congratulations from everyone at iVillage on your happy news. Second thing to say is do relax - you're trying too hard. You're trying to create lots of rules about how to behave while Jane is pregnant. I know underneath all the joy and love you feel, you're desperately anxious about her and about your baby. But actually, you can't run a pregnancy by rules - just as you can't run a relationship by rules. Not only is every pregnancy different, but every day in every pregnancy is different. So sometimes Jane is going to need you to wait on her hand and foot. Other times she's going to want to be left strictly alone.

This is what to do. Sit Jane down and tell her you love her. - and keep telling her you love her during her pregnancy and after the baby is born. But having told her you love her, ask her to keep telling tell you precisely how she wants you to express your love and concern. That way she'll get what she needs from you, and

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