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Anastasia’s pregnancy diary - weeks 14-16
It sounds like a bad country and western song, and it’s just as annoying. Every morning I face the struggle – what can I wear that will not make me look like a tank? What will fit over my growing belly and, crucially, NOT stick to my Jennifer Lopez pre-personal-trainer behind? I learned this lesson the hard way, by wearing one of Nick’s white shirts. Feeling quite cute, we spent a Saturday together going out to lunch and running errands. As we walked past a shop window, I caught a glimpse of my side view and realised that, although I looked great front-on, the shirt was sitting on top of my bum like a Victorian bustle. Not attractive. So my top-tip for fellow pregnant women: Always check your rear view before you leave the house. As you fill out in front, fabric shrinks in the back. You’ve been warned.
It gets worse before it gets better. I have a pair of jeans that are my ‘fat jeans’ and they always work in a pinch. Nick and I were invited over to our friend’s house for a Friday night curry and I thought I’d see if they still fitted. They did. I felt a wave of relief, thinking, OK, I can’t be that fat if my old jeans still fit. So I threw them, on and we were on our way.
The pain started in the car. I shifted in my seat but the waistband dug uncomfortably into my belly, no matter what I did. I put on a brave face and hoped they would ‘stretch out.’ Before I finished my first poppadom, I had to release the top button. The zipper went down halfway through my onion bhaji. Thank God, we were with close friends. When we got home, I ripped them off with great relief and ceremonially put them away in the guest room closet, so as not to tempt myself again. Depressing.
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