December Birth Story

Its head was still very high up and the journey down could be a long one. I stripped down to my old T-shirt and draped myself over the birthing ball. Between contractions, we chatted to the midwife and a student who asked me, as at a cocktail party, what I did for a living. I faked a contraction to avoid answering.

Considering pain relief

At about 8am I realised that I hadn't even thought about pain relief. I had breezed through more than two hours with nothing, but I wasn't smug for long. I had assumed drugs would be doled out automatically.

The contractions were increasing in intensity. It felt as if someone was twisting a huge fist inside me - uncomfortable pressure, as well as a kind of dull pain. If this was going on much longer I needed to ask for drugs.

Then the midwife found that I was only 4cm dilated. We were getting no closer, but the pain was worse. Finally the anaesthetist arrived. For some reason I came over all Hyacinth Bucket and demanded that he introduce himself.

Not funny

I still had the Tens machine on, and barked at James to switch it off. The poor love grabbed the controls and, instead of turning it off, yanked it up to the highest pulse, sending me shooting into the air in agony. Funny - if it hadn't been so painful.

There followed a great deal of prodding and poking, while I was given a local anaesthetic and plugged into a drip.

'I can't feel it working yet!? I howled. 'He hasn't put any in yet!' said the student. Finally, I felt the cool rush of something entering my bloodstream. After about 20 minutes, the contractions started to dull.

Tea and toast

By 10am, I was sitting up on the bed, eating toast and drinking tea, chatting away, and worshipping at the shrine of whoever invented the epidural.

But there was little progress, so the midwife decided to break my waters to bring the head down. When the waters came gushing out, she noticed that the baby had 'done a poo'. This meant that the meconium in the baby's lower intestine had been released into the amniotic fluid - a sign of stress. The baby would have to be carefully monitored when it was born in case it had swallowed or inhaled any.