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Miscarriage. Why did it happen to me?

by The Miscarriage Association
Coping with the physical impact, the emotional turmoil and understanding the possible causes – advice from the Miscarriage Association.

‘I’ve never cried so much in my whole life. I was walking about with an empty feeling where I should have been holding my baby.’ The feelings expressed by one woman after miscarriage show what a distressing experience it is. Apart from the emotional trauma of expecting a baby and then losing it, your body has been adapting to the changes of pregnancy and has to return to normal. Many women are left with feelings that are difficult to cope with and talk about. Emotions range from anger to jealousy, isolation, loneliness, guilt, depression and tiredness. These emotions may resurface months afterwards, perhaps at the time the baby was due.

Your partner is likely to feel upset because of the trauma you’ve been through, as well as the loss of your baby. His grieving pattern may be different from yours and he may find it hard to show his feelings.

It can be hurtful if friends and relations avoid talking about your loss, but they may be afraid of saying the wrong thing and upsetting you further. You can help them by talking openly about what has happened.

Even though one in four pregnancies ends in miscarriage, it is usually difficult to find the cause. It can happen at any time from the date of the first missed period to twenty-four weeks of pregnancy. Miscarriage is very rarely anyone’s fault.

The main causes are thought to be:

  • Genetic – about half of early miscarriages occur because of chance chromosome abnormalities.
  • Hormones – women with hormonal irregularities find it harder to conceive and when they do, are more likely to miscarry.
  • Immune system – problems in the blood vessels which supply the placenta can lead to miscarriage.
  • Infections – minor infections like colds are not harmful, but a very high temperature and some specific infections such as German measles, may cause miscarriage.
  • Anatomical problems – if the cervix is weak, it may start to open as the uterus becomes heavier in late pregnancy and this may lead to miscarriage. An irregular shaped uterus can mean there is not enough room for the baby to grow in later pregnancy.
  • Some pregnancies are lost through ectopic pregnancy. This is when the egg implants outside the womb, usually in the fallopian tubes.
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