Twins
Feeding
Tests
Nutrition and fitness
1st Trimester
2nd Trimester
3rd Trimester
Financial/benefits
Complications
Concerns
Labour/delivery
Newborn
Loss
From party frocks to invites and Christmas cocktails, we've got everything you need to throw a fabulous party
The stillbirth of Otto
My labour began early in the evening, eight days before my due date. My midwife Barbara asked me to come to hospital for routine monitoring. I checked my bag, and we asked my partner Ian's parents to come and stay with our 14-year-old triplet daughters.
It was a quiet night - Barbara ran the monitor over my bump and tried to pick up Otto's heartbeat, without success. We switched to a different room with more up-to-date monitors. I didn't panic (not on the surface, anyway), just waited patiently for the heartbeat to be located. Several times we thought we'd found it, but realised it was an echo of my own. Eventually we found a rapid heartbeat and for a while I thought my rising panic was unfounded.
I was deeply worried inside
Something was still bothering Barbara. The heart rate was dropping low for a baby. She put in a call to the registrar and attached a continuous monitor to my pulse through my finger. The two read-outs were shadows of each other. Ian remained confident, and I was trying to stay calm, but inside was deeply, darkly worried.
The registrar brought in a portable scanning machine. He scanned my tummy in silence. I could see Otto's shape but no movement. He said we should break my waters and attach a scalp monitor to the baby. I was dismayed. I was only 1cm dilated, very early to break the waters, and I asked for a second opinion. He agreed to call in my consultant. When he left the room Barbara said gently, 'You understand what is happening?'
I was totally numb
I tried not to panic. At the same time, I knew that the lack of movement was not a figment of my imagination. On some level I was acknowledging that Otto was already gone. On the surface I tried to suppress the truth, because it was too painful to face.
1 | 2 | 3 | next
printer friendly
send to a friend
Delicious
Digg
reddit
Facebook
StumbleUpon
Horoscopes| Message Boards | Quizzes | Newsletters | Join
iVillage Ltd is a UK company registered in England & Wales (3837269) at 80-110 New Oxford Street, London WC1 1HB
