Sinking the teeth in
There are few moments in motherhood darker than the day you suspect you’ve given birth to Hannibal Lector. Jane Bartlett on toddlers who bite
At 17 months, my son looked blue-eyed, blonde and angelic. But his teeth told a different story. Benedict had developed a taste for human flesh. At toddler drop-ins, if someone took his toy away, he would suddenly gnash out at the culprit. Whilst other mothers were able to sit back, natter and drink tea, I had to hover inches away from my son in case he sank his fangs into the nearest arm. He didn’t discriminate either, during a cuddle he would sink his newly cut incisors into my shoulder, leaving a little red rosette as a testament to his passion.
Worst of all, he would free range at nursery, testing out the consistency of chubby baby limbs. I say, worst of all, because biting at nursery got Benedict ‘exluded’, making him possibly the country’s youngest child to receive this honour . The private nursery felt they simply couldn’t cope with his behaviour any longer. It was too stressful. The staff had tried sitting him in a highchair when he attempted to bite. But he quite liked that as he thought he was about to get his dinner. Then he was banished to a cot, but still no improvement.
I dreaded picking him up from nursery each day and hearing the report about his dental misdemeanours. When I dropped him off one morning I overheard one mother whisper anxiously to a nursery nurse, ‘Is that boy Benedict in today?’ Oh the shame of it! To have a child turn delinquent when his age is measured in months, not years. What had I done wrong?
It’s normal…
After consulting three health visitors, two GPs, a homeopath and two childcare manuals, it came as an enormous relief to hear the unanimous verdict: biting was normal. Normal. At 17 months biting is all part of play and exploration: nothing vindictive, nothing dysfunctional, his behaviour was just at one end of a continuum of typical toddler behaviour. Between their first and third birthdays the majority of toddlers play piranha, it was just that Benedict did it more than others.
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