Mum, I’ve wet the bed

• Listen to your child and encourage him or her to talk. See what you can do together about their troubles.
• Reassure children that helping them is more important that the wet sheets. An older child will not want to go back to nappies, but may welcome a pad inside their pants until this time passes. Be encouraging when the dry beds start to return.
• Explain to children that worries can affect everyone in different ways. For example, another child in your family has bad dreams or you suffer with insomnia when you’re worried.

Helping the child who struggles

Most five and six year olds who still wet the bed are having difficulty with night-time bladder control. Only a small minority have an undiagnosed medical problem. Unless there are other symptoms that make you concerned about your child’s health, try some simple strategies, first of all.

• Talk to your child and listen to what she or he has to say. It’s important that children are reassured that they are not bad or dirty. They’re just having a struggle with night-time dryness.
• Let children know that they are definitely not the only five, six, seven or eight year who is facing this problem.
• Do your best to talk about aiming for ‘dry beds’ rather than an emphasis on ‘wet beds’.

Children older than five and six years can understand the symbolism of a ‘star chart’ system and be motivated when they see their progress.

• Use a simple wall calendar, on which your child sticks a star (or a smiley face or other friendly sticker), each time there is a dry bed. Decide where to keep the calendar; your child won’t want it displayed for everyone to see.
• Your child must never lose any stars. If the bed is not dry, then that day on the calendar is left blank.
• This approach is not swift. Give it at least a couple of months and allow for three steps forward and one or two back.
• The plus side of a star chart is that children can see their progress and you can be pleased with them. Some families link treats to a certain number of stars, but some children get their satisfaction from the dry beds. You certainly don’t want rewards for stars to be an additional pressure.