Sleepless children: The long day’s journey into night

This is definitely not a revival of the old ‘crying it out’. Babies and children need to feel secure that they are not abandoned to the dark, and lengthy crying can terrify children.

When children are scared at night

It’s hard to know for certain why young children develop fears that are triggered by the dark. Can you remember what made you frightened when you were a child?

Sometimes it seems to be a fertile imagination – curtains that look friendly in the daylight, but turn into ominous shadows in the dark. Gurgling pipes and noisy central heating may sound like something nasty behind the walls.

• Be reassuring as part of your checking procedure. Sometimes children wake after bad dreams. They need physical comfort, soft words that tell them, ‘It’s only a dream, I’m here’.
• If your child is old enough, talk about what troubles her. Explain about the pipes or creaky stairs. Sometimes it helps to listen to the same noises in the daytime. Let them describe their fantasies. One four-year-old we know felt stronger when she challenged the ‘witches’ with: ‘My mum says you’re not real.’
• A source of soft light can reduce fears of the dark.

When everyone is exhausted and you’ve already been up several times, it’s tempting to take children into bed with you.

Two cautionary notes about letting babies sleep in your bed

• Adults who are heavy sleepers, particularly after too much alcohol, can lie on the baby and suffocate them.
• Babies, tucked up with one or two adults, can become too hot. The causes of cot death or sudden infant death aren’t fully understood, but overheating can be a contributory factor.