Second child

You’ll be very tired but it’s important to give your first child some time and attention when the baby is asleep. Young children need to be reassured that the new baby hasn’t changed the love you have for them. Despite the fatigue factor, try to stay positive so that your child feels it’s good to have a new brother or sister around.

• Make sure that there is a little present or treat for your child when the baby arrives. Some friends and relatives are thoughtful enough to bring something for the older child as well as for the baby. Make sure that your child doesn’t feel left out.
• It will be some time before your son or daughter has an active playmate, but you can help them to understand what play is like for babies. Children are often brilliant at the kind of repetitive hand stroking, rattle shaking, nursery rhymes and funny faces that keep babies happy. Get out the photo album and do some happy reminiscing about your child’s babyhood and the funny things she used to do.
• Older brothers and sisters can be a real help with baby care, so long as they don’t feel it’s compulsory. Even a two year old can choose the baby’s outfit and hand you a clean nappy or cream. Their involvement gives you a chance to say a genuine thank you and point out how competent and helpful they are as a ‘big’ boy or girl.